Friday, April 10, 2015

Social Experiement ... why we need them.

I’m not sure if anyone seen this experiment yet (link: ) but I did post it on my Facebook page. One of my dear friends commented on it and I thought about her question. “Why wouldn't a woman go through the beautiful door when given the choice?” She went to further say, “It seems insane to me that women would have to think about it or avoid the choice.” I thought about it before writing a lengthy response which I thought I would blog about it. My full response is below but I wanted to add on to and not make a book on Facebook.

I have seen for years society telling us what is pretty, or desirable and having to try to fit that mold. I’ve been from a size 00 all the way to a 24/26 when I was pregnant. I have a hormonal disorder in which my body doesn’t ‘do diets’ well. I lost the baby weight however though bad judgements in eating and not understanding my body I have gotten to an 18/20 size. Sure I’m working to correct that but having PCOS (link: ) it’s a bit difficult at times to do. 

I have had many of the symptoms with PCOS that haven’t molded with conventional beauty and being I’m forty now; I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve given my middle finger to those that wouldn’t define me as pretty or beautiful. I am who I am, a woman that seeks her own approval, her own self validation and I don’t need the world to tell me if I am pretty or beautiful. To get validations from the world as a compliment is great, however I don’t live to have them. 

I would hope that women start to understand we can’t live by rules of beauty for much longer. We don’t need to live for the validation and the harsh judgement of others and have to find our own beauty from within. Am I going to starve myself to be a size 2? Nope! I’m working on healthy eating, workouts and making myself happy. If I lose weight great, if I don’t why would I stop and call it defeat? I’m making myself happy, fuck the rest of it! 

Now what does this social experiment matter to people? It seems a small matter on how a woman views herself right? Yeah, wrong! This is just a small building block not just on how a woman views her beauty, but her self-worth. How she views herself as capable or worthy of something. This then stems into women’s rights for herself both within the civil world and the business world.
Would an ‘average woman’ fight for her rights to get paid as much as a man, to fight civil laws about her sexual orientation or to fight again the ‘rape’ culture within the world? Would a ‘beautiful’ woman stand up for her rights faster? 

How we view ourselves does make a difference on how we fight for our rights and how we voice our opinions on things. If we go with the ‘norm’ or mold ourselves into what is being expected of us then we are saying it’s okay to pay us only .75 cent when a man is making a dollar. It’s okay that the girl ‘asked’ for it when she was screaming no the entire time. 

We need more social experiences to show women they have a choice to be who they are and to say what they need to say. To break societies’ norm and conventional mold and BE who they truly are. Sure this experience, and the Dove’s experiment (link below) aren’t perfect but it’s a start. And right now we need a start. Well without further ado my response to my friend’s questions.

My response:
This s a social experiment to show the psychological damage (well imho) that women have gone through as society has been dictating for so long what is beautiful. Logically yes, I agree it's insane that a woman wouldn’t naturally pick beautiful or just turn and walk away from the question. However, this isn’t a logical question. This making a woman stop and think about herself in a way that she has to show just how she views herself. Many where using what they were taught or what they were told was beautiful NOT what THEY thought was beautiful. Thus, you saw the reactions for those that were going through the average door. 

There was a small train of women that went through the average door as if they were following a leader, however there was another train of women that were going to go through the average door and the ‘leader’ of that group changed the door they were all going to go through. Questions like these or that dove experiment (the one where you had to describe yourself and then someone else had to describe you [link: ]) is to show women truly see themselves through their and other people’s eyes. How do we view beauty and how we perceive our own beauty when we have a chance to express it?

As a girl I never thought I was pretty. I never thought I was pretty enough to have a boyfriend in high school. I was far too shy to ask anyone out to both proms because I thought the boys would say no (no one asked me either). I scared and pretty much thought that I was only good as a friend to guys. I had some deep crushes back then but never could express it. (Plus there was a rumor about my sexual orientation when girls thought it was funny to label someone. There were other rumors about me as well that were unfounded and hurt my self-esteem quite a bit.)

As a woman and have let go of the past, though some of it has influence who I am today I’m glad to see things like this. Challenges and questions to us in how we see beauty in ourselves and in what we think and feel about ourselves. To challenge our self-esteem and how we can better ourselves. Sure I make jokes about my weight (I know I’m a well-rounded woman), about my looks and why I’m single. But to me those are to poke fun not at myself but at society’s views of me. 

To see women far skinnier than me (yes, I’m a size 18/20 atm) say they need to lose weight and get skinner; I poke at myself to show them that they are lovely and they don’t need to change. Just because they might not be rocking out that six pack or because they aren’t a size 2 when they are a size 6 doesn’t mean they can’t be beautiful. I’m rocking out my lovely body and sure it’s hard to find nice clothes and look fabulous all the time; but hey soon as the fashion industry catches up with beauty comes in all sizes I’ll have some wonderful clothes. 
Damn I should have done a blog response to this. LOL! But needless to say, sometimes we need these experiences to bring more of an awareness of our self-esteem and how we view ourselves. It might seem petty now; but if we don’t have self-esteem, the courage and the self-worth to define ourselves as beautiful now and all agree. Then how are we as women to band together to work for our rights and what we deserve if we didn’t see ourselves as worth fighting for?

Friday, June 6, 2014

Waiting for my quick fix

                So really in a blah kind of mood watching You Tube videos of movies coming out this year. Some funny, some silly, some that are sci fi like and some that make you think. I like all kinds of movies but within that minute and thirty second clip you see the movie for what it’s worth. Its selling points and whether you’re watching a comedy or a Zach Braff find yourself movie, you see the beginning and then the climax before the slow ending.
                I watched a bit of Zach Braff’s new movie and of Jason Bateman’s new one as well. There are many movies coming out with a sort of main character is lost and trying to find themselves. Then as if on queue for the story something happens to jar them out of their free floating state to give them a direction on where to go with their lives.
                This new direction seems to be the right path they need to go down. Sometimes willingly or unwillingly they travel, they find their talents and abilities are made for this path. Their blissful transformation shows us that we all have some kind of purpose and leaves us with a sense of there is meaning to this world.
                Even The Fault in Our Stars and Maleficent have characters that are lost and yet they find themselves in the end. I’m waiting for this ‘quick’ fix. This moment of epiphany where I know what path to take, what road to choose and what direction to set sail in.
                In the sea of failure and desperation, one tends to cling on and hope that we’re put on an island of hope or chance. If “pain is deserved to be felt”, thank you John Green, what if there is an abundance of pain that has been felt and let go; yet comes back to haunt you while you try to make your life better?
                There are times when a quick fix is exactly what someone needs. That little jolt from the ‘verse (sorry Browncoat, I don’t call the Universe the Universe, it’s the ‘verse) to push you in the right direction. I’m not looking for crazy jolt here, though wouldn’t mind a call from Nathan Fillion or Joss Whedon for a job.
                I know that in the movies, we can only write what we wish for. A twist of fate, a sprinkling of good fortune and a touch of the unreal luck that brings us our heart’s desire. I think that’s what is so appealing to me about these movies. Yes, I did love Garden State.
                I would love to have that wonderful quick fix to give me a little hope. To give me that little extra sense that there is power in the ‘verse that is helping me. Edging me along and that I’m not alone. (Not the physical alone part, though yeah sorta. The child, parents and grandmother can’t really comfort you like an SO can do. I miss that.)
                So ‘Verse here you go, I’d love a quick fix that not only rights all the sucky parts of my life but allows my new fortune to beef up the rest of humanity. To allow me to donate to charity, help people and to make other’s dreams come true. Hey, breakfast with Nathan Fillion as well as some game time would be great. Nothing wrong with gaming with your ‘crush’, I mean I’m sure he’s good in World of Warcraft, right? BTW, really of Joss ever has any jobs … so going to send as many resumes as I can. It would be sooooooooooooo awesome!